Can't Forget This Little Guy...

It's been a little while since I've written anything (Amy here!) but so much of what has happened is still in my mind and I dwell on things daily.  I wonder what Katya and Karina are doing right now.  I wonder where they are...are they still at camp?  Do they think of us at all?  Are the memories pleasant ones or are they relieved, like they've survived a bout of annoying athlete's foot?  Is Babushka keeping her promises?  Is she coming to get them and are they excited about that prospect?

Part of me wishes that she will come and get them so that they will not be so very disappointed if she lets them down again and leaves them in the care of authorities still.  The other part of me hopes that she will not follow through and that they will ask us to come back.  This will involve heartache on their part for a while and a sense of abandonment once AGAIN, but long term, it seems like this would be best for them:  to be in a loving, nurturing family and to have access to the best medical care for their condition.

Who knows how long the wait to finally find out what the end of the story is?  I think that might be the hardest part of where we are now.  There is no closure, no finality to it all.  And daily I see the pictures of children who need families NOW.  I so want to fast forward to the end of the story so that we can focus on the next possibilities, whether it be a return trip to get the girls or to update our paperwork and look forward to bringing other children home.  But there is no fast forward button on life and so we must simply wait.

We hear so often how much people enjoy this blog and how they follow it is all I can say :)  People want us to keep writing but there is so little going on right now and I don't really want to make anything up to keep it going.  But I have been wanting to share a few more children with you to let you once again see faces and personalities behind the 147 million orphans out there.  And to maybe move just one more family to go and grab ahold of one more starfish and rescue him or her

This little guy I dream of daily.  Look at those eyes!  I wonder what it would be like for him to be here right now and what we would be doing.  I see us snuggled up together on the couch reading a book and him playing rough with Jeff.  We have 2 empty beds in the girls' room, so why is my mind so fixated on this adorable little boy?

I had the best time playing with him.  When we played frisbee with him and his friends, we would dive for the frisbee at the same time and that would give me the excuse to grab and hug and hold him and he would grin from ear to ear.

He was so engaging and worked so hard to communicate with us.  He learned some English from us and would use those words to speak with us.  Since he was always begging for one of our electronic devices (camera, ipad, iphone), he would say, "Pajaloosta!  Pajaloosta!  Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!"  He was so stinkin' cute!

Here he is with my other favorite little buddy...another child that I wouldn't hesitate to bring home, but I saw him on our last day with a precious Babushka.  She was speaking so sweetly to him and rubbing his back.  I would never want to face having him to decide between us and his grandmother, especially now knowing how hard it would be on him.  But, oh, how I love that kid!

Seems to be in deep thought here.  He's a very strong little boy and he can be quite demanding and when he wants something, he can be a little pushy and persistent.  But from what I've read, these kids learn to be demanding as a survival skill.  I have no doubt that this behavior would go away after a time in a family, where he was loved and cared for and no longer had to fend for himself.

If things do not work out with the girls I would seriously inquire about hosting him over the holidays and see how things went with him in our family setting.  I would also be thrilled if another family decided to have him stay with a few weeks at Christmas!  I would dare you not to fall in love with this little man...

He and his buddy (above) have a few matchbox-type cars and they would bring them to us and let us see them.  We would also play UNO and I loved to hear him teach me my numbers and colors.  I had learned a few of them before traveling, but soon forgot and he was great in helping me remember.  So patient with this ignorant old lady :)

Dahlia was not in the stroller while he played with it.  She didn't stay happy for long in it and I wasn't sure just how gentle he would be, but he entertained himself by pushing it around and around the soccer field with his friends with no one in it.

"Pajaloosta, pajaloosta!  Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!"  "Nyet, Mama will hold the baby..."

Such a great kid with a big personality and also a big heart.  And a survivor.  I wonder what his hopes and dreams are for the future.  I would hand them to him on a silver platter if I could.  I wonder if a family like ours would be part of his dreams.  Does he have family there?  How involved are they?  What if......?

I have my memories and my photos.  This one here of him doing the pitiful, "How can you not give me what I want?" face...

And then the, "Oh, least I tried!" face.  See the kids in the back?  Jeff taught them how to play "Slaps" and they had a blast playing that with him.  I sure do miss this fella.  Maybe one day I would see him again.  I wonder if he'll even remember me.  In the meantime, he will be in my prayers...


  1. I think of you often, (as I am writing more articles for your other site.) and I pray for your heart which I know is feeling a bit battered and broken after all it's been through. The fact that the story is left unfinished must be so hard to deal with, I am so sorry.
    Looking at these lovely faces and telling their stories is a wonderful way for you to continue to help them Amy. I am sure it helps both you and them!

  2. I know it helps me! I sure hope it's helping them. It's cathartic and I feel really good after remembering and writing about them. Thanks so much for the encouragement :) It means so much...



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